“The Color of Sound” author Emily Barth Isler says changing your mind about your career is not the same as failure
The Color of Sound by Emily Barth Isler is about a neurodivergent 12-year-old named Rosie whose synesthesia lets her see music in colors
Imagine experiencing colors as sound — your mom’s voice is grey when she’s mad, for example, and when your friends are in a room talking together, it’s magenta. Now imagine going through your life not realizing that other people don’t experience the world this way.
This is what it’s like for so many neurodivergent folks. If you have ADHD, you might assume everyone finds boredom physically painful (my husband and daughter can describe this feeling to me vividly); if you’re a Highly Sensitive Person, like me, you might think everyone gets so overstimulated by noise and crowds that they want to curl up into a little ball in the dark.
And if you’re like author Emily Barth Isler, or the main character of her book, The Color of Sound, you might assume everyone experiences the world like this:
“Outside, the sky is alive with the colors of the sunset. Tchaikovsky’s Violin Concerto in D major, op. 35, begins playing in my head when I see it, the spikes of orange arching above the purples and pinks.”
- from “The Color of Sound” by Emily Barth Isler
I was fortunate enough to have the chance to interview Emily and learn more about the inspiration behind this book; how she finally gave herself permission to follow her dream of writing (and learned that changing your mind is not the same as failure); and her experience of motherhood. Follow her on Instagram for updates on her books and more.
AMANDA: What was the inspiration for your latest book, “The Color of Sound,” about a 12-year-old musical prodigy whose synesthesia allows her to see music in colors?
EMILY BARTH ISLER: I have synesthesia myself, and I really wanted to write about it. I had no idea how rare or unusual it was for a long time. I assumed everyone's brains worked like my brain, because how would I have ever known otherwise? We only have our one brain, and our one experience living in it. So as I became more and more aware that my brain is neurodivergent-- I have synesthesia and OCD and a few other differences-- I realized that writing about it could be a) fun, and b) helpful to kids who also have no idea that their brains are different, or that maybe their friends or family members have neurodiverse experiences.
The book also features the main character, Rosie, meeting a version of her own mom at age 12, and that came from being a parent and wishing I could literally go back in time and then visit my kids now, and meet them at a common age! I want to be able to show them how I was like them when I was a kid-- that I had some of the same fears and struggles.
AMANDA: How did you get started writing books for kids?
Author Emily Barth Isler
EMILY BARTH ISLER: I always wanted to write books for kids. Ever since I started reading books, I wanted to be one of the people who wrote them.
This has been an evolving process. It's one thing to "want to write books," and then another to actually sit down and finish one, and then a whole other animal to actually sell, publish, and promote books! I am learning as I go, and loving every part of it.
I took creative writing classes in high school and college, but didn't really settle into writing professionally until my 30s. It took me a while to work up the courage to put my writing out there! It's scary to bare your soul through your words and thoughts and imagination.
Finishing a draft of a book is really hard, too, especially if you don't know if it'll ever turn into a book. I have several manuscripts that didn't-- in a metaphorical drawer. And a lot of rejection as I spent a decade trying to find an agent and then publisher.
It's been a long road to get here, where I am, which feels like another beginning! Starting to put books into the world is exhilarating and wonderful and hard and exhausting. And I am so incredibly grateful I am finally doing it-- as I said, there was like a decade of rejection and failure, fused together with tiny glimmers of success and validation that kept me going.
By the way, I am not a writer who writes every day. I write most days in one way or another, because I have two different careers going on-- magazine freelance writing, and book writing-- but I am not a "butt-in-chair for four hours" kind of writer. Some days are more creatively fueled than others, and as floofy as it sounds, I do let the "muse" dictate when I write to some extent. Unless I have a deadline, in which case, sorry, Muse, I just bang it out and hope for the best! But I find I do my best "writing" when I'm "not writing"-- when I'm swimming or cooking or showering or resting, that's when the ideas flow and the problems get solved.
AMANDA: Before you became a writer, you had a bunch of other storytelling-related jobs, from child actor to PR assistant for the Baltimore Orioles. Based on your career journey, what is a lesson you learned about what it takes to find fulfilling, meaningful work?
EMILY BARTH ISLER: The biggest thing I learned-- the hardest thing to learn-- is that changing your mind about what you want to do work-wise is not the same as failure. I stopped enjoying being an actor for many years before I had the courage to quit doing it. I thought that quitting meant I had failed. Now I look back and see that that career wasn't bringing me joy. I didn't love it enough. I was doing it because it had become a habit, and instead, I was aching to become a writer full time. It was just so hard to admit that this thing I'd been doing my whole life, because I started acting professionally when I was five years old, wasn't what I wanted anymore.
So my advice to anyone reading is: if you're not loving it, try something else. It's not a sign of weakness, and it's not failure. We all change, so your work can change. It's very brave to start something new!
AMANDA: We met through a parenting group on Facebook. I wonder, did you always know you wanted to be a mom? If not, can you share a bit about your journey to motherhood?
EMILY BARTH ISLER: I love this question! I definitely always wanted to be a mom, though I will say that, certainly as a child and a young adult, I didn't know what that actually meant! I mean, of course, I saw my mother and other moms in my family and in my life doing it, and doing a great job. But I didn't realize the endless work of motherhood until much later: the mental load, the physical toll, the balancing act. I think it was also something I took for granted that I would do. I'm a cis-woman, so it seemed logical and simple in my 1980s childhood that, of course, this is what would "happen."
I feel like my journey to wanting to become a mother unfolded in several phases: First, the vague notion that it was biologically possible for me and societally expected of me. Next there was the more emotional, conceptual "I want to have a family" feeling I developed in my teens, that deepened in my college years when I met my husband and fell in love with him, seeing how we might have kids who had parts of each of us in them, and raise them with love and acceptance and try and give them everything we wanted for them.
Next came the "oh shit I guess we're in our 30s now, let's do this" phase, which actually started in our late 20s when we realized it was time to actually get our act together and, you know, have the kids we'd always theoretically wanted!
We were lucky that it was a relatively straightforward path to having our children, and now, over a decade in, there's the active, every day choosing of "I am going to give this the best I have to give today" part of parenting, which is different each day, in that sometimes I have more to give than other times :) and sometimes my best isn't everything, or my everything isn't my best.
I love my kids so much and I love the family my husband and I have created, not just in the biological sense that we made humans together, but the way that we're creating and nurturing a culture in our home, that we get to choose and define and redefine our values as the world evolves and as our family evolves. It's really fun to enjoy the process of mothering my specific, amazing kids as opposed to the theoretical mothering of theoretical children we conceptualize before actually having kids!
I love being a mother, and it's so much more expansive and collaborative than I thought it would be (thank goodness!). I'm also part of a "village" in that I have dear friends and family members (and our wonderful Facebook parents group!) who help raise our kids as I help raise theirs-- in the sense that we're all in this together and it's definitely a team sport!! I'm glad I'm not trying to do it alone in a vacuum!!!!
AMANDA: And finally, can you share a favorite quote with us? Maybe some words to live by, or something you return to repeatedly for inspiration?
EMILY BARTH ISLER:
"I cannot remember the books I've read any more than the meals I have eaten; even so, they have made me.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson
I love this quote because it's a great reminder of how the things we do-- the seemingly small, less meaningful, less huge choices we make-- all still contribute to who we are. You may meet someone briefly and have a five-minute conversation with them that will remain a piece of you forever. You might see a movie or hear a song that changes you, even if you can't remember it a month later. I love that idea. I love that we're all made out of these intangible pieces we might not even be aware of. What a wonderful, magical mystery it all is!
What now?
Learn more about Emily and explore her writing on her website.
I especially want to highlight this beautiful essay she wrote for Oprah Daily about the secret superpower of OCD and how she used swimming to quiet her mind — and write a book. I don’t know about you, but it makes me want to dive into a pool and start swimming laps….
And, of course, don’t forget to follow Emily on Instagram!
Emily donated a portion of the proceeds of her first book, Aftermath, to gun violence prevention. As she told me, “We all think it's not going to affect us directly, but then, every day, more than 110 people are killed from guns and more than 200 are shot and wounded (stat thanks to Everytown Research and Policy), and it becomes very personal to a whole new group of people…If we all got involved and lobbied for better laws, (and VOTED!) aka took this issue personally, we could see huge improvements.” Not sure where to start? I suggest joining the Everytown email list to stay informed about opportunities to get involved; if you’re a mom, you might also join Moms Demand Action.
