Friday reflection

Perk reminder! And: Negativity, disarmed.

Graffiti says, "Forgive the negative people, they learned to many lies." - Lil B

Hello, mighty forces,

First things first, I want to remind you of one of the perks you get as a paid subscriber: An hour of story coaching or consulting to help you home in on the story you want to be telling about yourself, your work, your team, your company, or the contents of your sock drawer (hey, you do you); use it yourself, or gift it to a friend/colleague/mentee.

Second, I want to reflect this week on idea of “negative” feelings, and the “negative” stories, or frames, we construct around those feelings. We live in a culture that promotes positive thinking and a can-do attitude, where constant self-optimization can veer in the blink of an eye from healthy self-awareness into control-freaky attempts at perfection.

I speak from experience.

Which brings me to the stories that are on loudspeaker in our minds, and how we relate to them, and whether they serve us.

I’ve heard various spiritual teachers say that really, no feeling is inherently negative or positive; it’s just energy moving through us, and it’s our judgement of or reaction to the feeling that imbues it with positive or negative qualities.

I buy this. It reminds me of Brené Brown’s teaching, in Atlas of the Heart, that many of our feelings are actually identical somatic experiences, just with different labels. For example, al that makes anxiety different than excitement is the label we assign to the same set of body sensations.

Or, as Shakespeare put it, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”

If you know someone who would appreciate getting the perks of a paid subscription, please consider giving it as a gift.

I’m also reminded of the movie Inside Out, with its lesson that manically pursuing constant joy is not, in fact, the way to experience joy. Sadness can be a necessary release valve. We need our full palette of emotions; each feeling’s utility exists in context of other feelings, similar to the way that sunshine feels most special after a string of rainy days, and knowledge of death makes life more meaningful.

More and more, I try to connect to my body and spirit in the moments that I become aware of all the judgement in my mind, including judgement of my own feelings and stories. I place my hands on my heart, my belly, my head, and I breathe, and I notice the sensations in my body, and then I am present — and it is from that place of presence that I can make choices and create stories with intention, rather than allowing them to hold me hostage.

Jay Fields, whom I interviewed earlier this year, calls this embodiment, and she defines it as, “experiencing yourself and the world, versus thinking about yourself and the world.”

I wish all of you the experience of experiencing yourself and the world.

You are a mighty force -

Amanda