Pandemic stories: Meet champion for civic community Aanchal Dhar
This is the fifth installment of my Pandemic Stories series elevating the stories of women during this pandemic. Today, meet Aanchal Dhar, a communications strategist who is passionate about bridging intergenerational and other divides to build civic community — and is doing something about it (…many somethings, in fact). Through Aanchal, I learned about something called Civic Saturday, for example, “a civic analogue to a faith gathering. It gathers friends and strangers together to nurture a spirit of shared purpose.” In our email Q&A, Aanchal shares how she’s been turning anxiety into action, the power of “karass” (a magical term coined by Kurt Vonnegut to evoke the connection that exists between people of common purpose), and how she’s navigating the experience of quarantining solo.
“The communities
of leaders we’re creating have the potential to build a more interconnected society."
In a lovely article you wrote for Greater Good magazine back in May about finding purpose and connection in a pandemic, you share some advice you got from an older friend on how to navigate these challenging times: "turn anxiety into action." How have you put that into, well, action — and is it helping?
One way I’ve been taking action is by having regular intergenerational (virtual) dinners with good friends, which bring together people from across the country and every age range. At the last dinner we spent almost one hour discussing how we can convince others who've bought into the myth of American individualism that it’s failed us, and that collectivism is the way that society should function for the betterment of everyone. It was pretty heavy, but there was something really beautiful about people opening up, being so vulnerable with each other, and sharing their stories.
I’m also excited to share that I just became a Civic Saturday fellow! I just finished my Civic Seminary training this week to learn how to host these gatherings in my community, and I’ve been so moved to be a part of a cohort that’s thinking about bringing people together across all sorts of divides in our communities to promote a shared sense of civic spirit. It’s an amazing community and I encourage everyone who's interested in attending a future virtual Civic Saturday gathering to check out the next one here.
It's clear that civic action and being of service are core values of yours. When you think back, when did that part of you first show up? Any thoughts about where it comes from, or what first inspired it?
I give a lot of credit to my parents, who made sure that my brother and I began volunteering at a really young age, to the point where it just became naturally integrated throughout our lives. In times like the current global pandemic we’re in — when I sometimes feel uprooted and not grounded in any one place — it’s the memories I’ve woven together in my mind of service and the connections made through people at the programs I worked with, which sustain me.
I think that’s a big part of the reason that I was attracted to the Civic Saturdays movement: It reminded me of the same feeling I had building homes with Habitat for Humanity in Charleston, SC, or traveling with missionaries throughout the villages of Oaxaca, Mexico, or working with global HIV/AIDS activists and educators in Chiang Mai, Thailand. At our recent Civic Seminary training, one of my fellow cohort members introduced us to the word “Karass”: “A group of individuals who are unwittingly linked, in cosmically significant ways, all committed to doing work for the common good.” (Kurt Vonnegut coined the term in his novel, Cat’s Cradle; this definition is adapted from Kurt Vonnegut by Lori Brewer Collins)
Aanchal with her Civic Saturdays cohort
When you love others, you often love the reflection of yourself that you see in them. So when that reflection manifests itself in groups of people who genuinely care for others, it can make you feel like you’ve come home, no matter where you might be located geographically.
That’s beautiful. Tell us a little bit about your career: Beyond your personal activism, how do you earn a living? How has the pandemic affected the way you work, or think about work, if at all?
I’m a communications strategist at the national nonprofit Encore.org, whose mission is to help bridge generational divides. Whenever I first describe my work to friends and family, the thing they always want to talk about is the increasing demographic divides in our country. There’s been an increase in the “othering” of those unlike us, and a narrative of growing generational tensions that can’t be bridged.
And then I describe the new story we’re trying to tell at Encore.org: one of how vibrant our communities could be if people of all ages actively worked together to counter the narrative of increasing division in America. The communities of leaders we’re connecting have the potential to help build a more interconnected society and to shift our perceptions of the type of future we want to create together.
The pandemic has really slowed down my perception of time. I think a lot these days about what could change in less than just one generation if we brought people together across all sorts of divides (e.g. age, race/ethnicity, class, geography, etc.) to help solve major problems in our communities. When it comes to issues like climate change, race relations, economic security and America’s standing in the world, we can’t afford to wait an entire generation to make change happen.
I know you were quarantining alone for a while — are you still? Have you been able to have socially distanced visits with friends or family? How much are you relying, still, on virtual connection for social contact, and how would you describe your feelings at this point about connecting with others online?
About four months ago I actually left San Francisco and headed back to Michigan to shelter in place with my family. It’s funny, because I just got back to San Francisco two weeks ago, and the first thought that ran through my head as soon as I landed at SFO was “what have I done?!” I had this momentary panic, followed by recurring pangs of homesickness all day.
Image via Karass Media
I think the fear of social isolation and loneliness continues to be an issue that many of us are dealing with during the pandemic. When it comes to virtual connection, I think I’m experiencing a good amount of Zoom fatigue. I heard a quote awhile back from one of my favorite writers, Ezra Klein, who summed it up in the best way. He said, “I think many of us are getting the anxieties of connection without the nourishment of it.”
At this time, I’m trying to explore what I can do in a safe way in my own city to connect with others while physically distancing. For example, this week I celebrated my birthday in Dolores Park with a small group of friends. Most of the activities I’m involved with these days though are still online for the most part.
What's something you've read or seen recently that touched a nerve? 'Could be a book, a poem, a video... just something that really got your attention on a deeper level.
This summer I was completely blown away by the HBO documentary “Stockton on My Mind”, which a colleague had recommended. It tells the story of Stockton Mayor Michael Tubbs, who became the city’s first Black mayor and one of the youngest mayors in the U.S. at age 26.
Tubbs’s personal story is so moving. He was born to a teen mom and a father who was in prison most of his life, and overcame all odds to attend Stanford University, intern under President Obama, and serve as a city council member in Stockton before becoming mayor. It’s amazing to see how he’s leading the city with so much heart, creating a social incubator in Stockton by piloting ideas that I think the rest of the country should adopt (like universal basic income), and showing us how vibrant our communities can look if we invest in people who have historically been left behind. I watched the documentary almost two months ago, but his story and work has stayed with me ever since.
(Shout-out once again to Michelle Hynes, who introduced me to Aanchal and suggested I interview her. Michelle is a coach and consultant who helps leaders and teams navigate change.)
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