Pandemic stories: Meet Camila Gibran, who moved across the country for a job, got sick, and then got furloughed
This edition of Pandemic Stories was written by guest author Rachel Sarah. For a jolt of hope and inspiration, do yourself a favor and pre-order her latest book, Girl Warriors: How 25 Young Activists are Saving the Earth, coming out April 2021.
I found Camila Gibran thanks to author Sue Shapiro. Both Camila and I studied with Sue at the New School in New York City, although not at the same time.
During a couple of FaceTime conversations, I was so struck by how Camila coped when she got sick, and then lost her job during the pandemic. She was totally alone, and she managed to recover and get back on her feet. When we chatted, it was the first time in three decades that Camila has not worked at a full-time job. She opened up about how her life as an immigrant in the United States drives her, and also impacts the way she sees the world. (Portrait of Camila by Leslie Hassler)
“My family in Brazil kept me on a FaceTime rotation every eight hours…”
- Camila Gibran
Rachel: Where do you call home, and what do you do for work?
Camila: Right now, home is my apartment in Brooklyn, but for most of last year, that place was LA.
I was born and raised in Brazil. I come from middle class family, which means that I had a lot of intellectual stimulation and support, but not the monetary kind. Most of my family works in some branch of the public system, so if I knew that if I wanted to study abroad, they wouldn't be able to help me financially. So, I worked and payed for my way to New York, and then I paid my way through school. Once I got here, since I didn’t have working papers, I took any job that would have me.
When I finally got a permit, I found steady work in fashion retail, and I was able to finish school. While holding my day job, I produced plays, made movies, and wrote…. all during my free time. I made a film that took three years to shoot because we had to schedule it on my vacation time.
Rachel: So, how did you end up in Los Angeles during the pandemic?
Camila: I was working as a stylist for a fashion company, and they transferred me from New York to their location in California. I was supposed to be there for three months total, but a few weeks after I arrived, the shutdown happened. Then I got sick.
During a virtual appointment, the doctor told me that I might have COVID-19 or an upper respiratory flu. But I couldn't take a test, because there were no tests at the beginning of the pandemic. He told me not to go anywhere or see anyone, so I stayed in for weeks, sleeping 20-hour stretches, taking showers when I was awake, and eating kale and oranges, which was all my body craved. A friend sent me herbs for my immune system, other friends sent me masks, and my family in Brazil kept me on a FaceTime rotation every eight hours.
In the end of March, I lost the person who'd been subletting my place in New York, and by mid-April, my job was furloughed. I had already paid rent in Los Angeles ‘til the end of May and I couldn’t travel, so I contacted my job to ask if they could help me. They told me there was nothing they could do. I had been in isolation for three months at that point. After a lot back and forth and paperwork, my company extended my furlough, but eventually, they let me go.
Rachel: How did you keep your spirits up during those months?
Camila: Nature is always resetting, and the ocean is sacred to me. When I had too many questions or my thoughts got heavy, I would go to the water. The California landscape is majestic — no human grief can live up to it.
Writing is also part of how I process things, but in the beginning, I was quite overwhelmed. At one point, I called my professor, Sue Shapiro, from the New School. She is fantastic. She helped me focus and ask: What are you seeing? What are you thinking? How does it feel?
I also read a lot, as I tried to get a perspective from writers who wrote about the past: Joan Didion, Eve Babitz, Toni Morrison, George Orwell, James Baldwin, Valeria Luiselli, and Zadie Smith. Besides food and shelter, books were the only thing I spent my money on.
I didn’t feel lonely. I mean… I felt crazed, but not lonely. I didn’t know if I was going back to New York, I didn’t know if I could keep my apartment or if I would keep the job or even some of my old relationships.
But everyone is experiencing this pandemic, and this is a bond in itself. People are so vulnerable; we are looking for connection. I remember having a panic attack and a friend stayed on the phone as I walked three miles on the Pacific Coast Highway, until I got to the lagoon to sit by the ocean and watch the feeding pelicans. I felt better.
Rachel: How are you feeling today? Are you able to earn a living right now?
Camila: In late 2020, I finally got back to my apartment in Brooklyn. I’m quiet and way more selective of who and what I give my time to. It’s good to be home and have the space to ground and process all that I saw and went through.
No, I’m not earning a living yet. Actually, I’m deep into my savings, but I’m hopeful. Change takes time and I’m not going to letting fear for survival dictate my actions — that always gets me in trouble. I usually give 100% in whatever I do, so I’m trying to choose wisely. I don’t know how it’s all going pan out or where my next paycheck will come from, but I’ll figure it out. I always do.
Rachel: Is there anything else you'd like to add about being forced out of work during the pandemic?
Camila: I think the most important thing is that the pandemic forced me to stop, to be present, and to think about what matters… Things are not happening to us. Things are happening, and they're showing us a system that is broken, and that we are all a little broken, because we are a part of it.
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