Friday reflection

Is it wise to be humble?

Hi there,

My father-in-law told me a story last night about Eleanor Roosevelt. She was flying to India, I think, and when the plane — a commercial flight — landed, she gazed out the window. Spotting a huge crowd, she remarked, “Wow, someone famous must be on this plane.”

Now, you might think this belies tremendous humility.

Here’s another take, from my 10-year-old daughter:

“She sounds dumb!”

I’d posit that both things may be true. Now, don’t get me wrong — Eleanor Roosevelt was no dummy, in a general sense. She was an incredibly intelligent woman, one who did incredible things for the people (especially the women) of this country. A dear client and I like to meet at Eleanor’s former Val-Kill home in New York’s Hudson Valley, sit in a pair of Adirondack chairs, and imagine channeling her activism, leadership, and fortitude into our feminist work.

And yet, to be so blind to how loved you are, so unaware of your own impact — that, in a way, really is just dumb.

Is it also incredibly human? Certainly. I would bet that most of you reading this have only an inkling of the impact you have on other people, if that. And I’m right there with you. In fact, a goal of mine this year has been to focus more on receiving positive feedback — noticing it, accepting it, feeling it, rather than brushing it off quickly so I have more time to dwell on all of the ways in which I’m still not having the impact I seek to have in this world.

Oy.

Is it humble, too, to be so focused on doing good work, that other people’s celebration of your contributions is nowhere on your radar? Yes, it is. And there might be a temptation to celebrate such humility. But to that, I say, “phooey.” Yes, in our fame-obsessed culture, it might seem saint-like to be so authentically unconcerned with your image, or other people’s opinion of you. And yes, to some extent, acting out of a sense of inner guidance, vs. seeking external validation, is what integrity looks like.

But…

But we’re people, in a world full of other people, and being aware of how other people perceive us is not necessarily egocentric; it can be a form of self-awareness and thoughtfulness, and a pathway to greater impact. It can mean taking the time not just to act, but to share your actions, and to do so in an intentional way, so that the story of who you are and what you’re up to is accessible beyond the immediate bubble of your daily life. That story holds power — power to inspire, power to inform, power to activate. And if you’re so lost in the work that you aren’t sharing the story, then, arguably, the impact of the work itself is diminished.

Heady thoughts for a chilly September Friday. I wonder what you see or hear in here that sparks something for you. I’d love to know.

’Til next time…

You are a mighty force.

- Amanda