Friday reflection (Saturday edition)

Influence yourself

Hi! It’s your Friday reflection….on Saturday! Sorry about that. My hope is that it all works out, though, and this message finds you just when you need it.

Paid subscribers, if you prefer to listen, rather than read, scroll to the bottom and find an audio link I created just for you.

And now, without further ado: Let us reflect!! (Runs to corner, sits on reflection cushion. Just kidding. I’m in a recliner in my office with my laptop on my lap. Well, actually, my laptop is on a pillow that’s on my lap. I just ate Fage greek yogurt with Grape Nuts and honey. Now that you can really imagine the moment….let’s go.)

Influence yourself.

This week, I want to talk about influence.

Let’s start with this:

Are you influential?

How do you know?

Marketers are obsessed with reaching so-called “influencers” — people who, if they promoted your organization/campaign/book/idea/etc to their social media followers, would help you get in front of millions of people… people who would, ostensibly, be inclined to do/buy/think/click/etc in whatever way the influencer asked them to.

Taylor Swift says, “Support this cause!,” and millions of people are likely to support the cause. Oprah says, “Buy this book,” and, well, we know how that turns out.

At times, we might refer to someone as “influential” in a kind of shorthand way, to signify a high-ranking job and/or a high salary. After all, the closer you are to the one who controls the purse-strings, the more influence you may have over whether said purse tips in your direction.

But what if we bring the idea of “influence” down to a more micro level?

What if we ask the question: What influences YOU?

Of course, lots of things influence us: Nature, nurture, culture, media, the weather… you name it. And many of those things are out of our control.

But what if the biggest influence on you is, well…you?

What if, as doctoral student and licensed professional counselor Dan Bates posits in Psychology Today, our self-talk influences us more than anything else?

(Hushed voice) EVEN MORE THAN TAY TAY.

Obviously, all of the other things I named — how we’re raised, the media we consume, etc — influence how we talk to ourselves; despite Simon & Garfunkel’s melodic argument to the contrary, you are not, in fact, an island. But in a culture so often obsessed with influence, I find it radical and empowering to remember that when it comes to me, I am the ultimate gatekeeper.

I get to choose.

Sure, all of those external forces affect me in ways that may elude me at times, and sure, I’m not consciously choosing how to talk to myself every single second of every single day (thank god, that sounds exhausting). But, at the same time, at any moment, I have the opportunity to bring awareness to the thoughts running through my head; at any moment, I have the power to notice what’s influencing me, and to influence myself, instead.

So go ahead: Influence yo’ self.

Treat. Yo. Self. - Self-Love Rainbow

After all: You are a mighty force.

- Amanda